Got Milk {Paint}?

Yesterday I was being all whiny about Milk Paint.  It’s a hard life.

I am no stranger at painting furniture.  I’ve even BS-ed mastered the art of no-sand painting.  But I needed to test this much-talked-about heavy-hailed Milk Paint.  Let’s take this Milk Paint for a drive.  This post is my unsponsored, uncensored, untarnished review of said product.

First of all, what is milk paint?  According to Miss Mustard Seed:

Milk Paint is an ancient all-natural paint containing basic ingredients including milk protein (casein), limestone, clay and natural pigments.  It is environmentally friendly, non-toxic and contains no VOCs.

Milk Paint can either provide a solid coat of paint, or an authentic chippy look.  If you want a solid coat, you will need to use the bonding agent.  For the chippy look, you are good to go.  No priming or sanding is needed.

Milk Paint comes in a powder form.  I joked that my bag of snow came in the mail.  No one thought that was funny.  Apparently mail-order drugs are no laughing matter.

Before I mixed my paint, I watched all of Miss Mustard Seed’s video tutorials.  Seemed easy enough.  The ratio of mix to water is 1 part mix to 1.5 part water.  I mixed half a cup of mix with 3/4 cup warm water.  You’ll want to make sure you take your time mixing it.  It should take roughly 5 minutes to mix.  If you don’t have a clock, mix until your arm falls off.  Also, make sure you don’t do LESS water.  If it is thick, you will have issues later on.  It will feel like mixing pancake batter.  Make sure you get the lumps out.  The paint, when mixed, should be the consistency of watery egg nog.  No matter how tempted you are, do not try a sip!

This is all the paint I needed for the first coat.  A little does go a long way.  It’s very efficient.  I’m sure we’ll be powering our cars with Milk Paint in the future.  

I don’t know what it is about projects, but they sleep through every.single.one.  My theory is they are faking it.  It’s their way of not having to help.

I knew this clock would be pushed up a wall, so I decided to tattoo the back.  Consider it grandfa-father’s tramp stamp.

After I applied the 2nd coat, I started to panic.  It wasn’t dry yet, but it was looking like this:

The skepticism set in.  I hated how streaky it was looking, and how uneven it was covering.  It looked like a 2nd grade craft project.  And if I were to ever paint my mum’s grandfather clock in 2nd grade, I would have been turned into a coat.

After having the paint cure over night/while I was at work, it looked like the difference of Hoda & Kathie Lee makeup-less vs done up.  Much better.

You could see where the paint was peeling in certain areas, ready to be flaked off.  Remember, that ALL of the Milk Paint won’t flake off. It’s completely random where it will happen.  It’s fun.

Use a putty knife, and using normal pressure (not too heavy & not too light is the best way I can describe it.  Generic, I know.) drag it along the edges and surface.  It will flake certain parts of the paint off.

Not everyone is into the chippy/antiquey look.  But if you are, I’d say Milk Paint is the way to go.  Just be aware that the process is completely different than any other kind of painting you have used before.  It looks, feels, smells different.  But different is good.

While I DO like the product, I don’t know how much I like the clock.  I’m still torn.  I think  I like it.  I’m waiting for it to grow on me.  I enjoy honest opinions.  Matt says it looks tacky.  Not because of the chippies, but because he doesn’t like white clocks.  Karl loves it.  Aaron likes it, especially against the blue wall.  The good news: if I hate it, I bought it at the DI.  No real loss.

There is a wax sealer that goes on as a top coat, but I haven’t purchased it yet.  I didn’t realize I needed it until I watched the tutorials.  (Always unprepared.  I could never be Survivor Man.)  I better get on ordering it.  So what do you think?  Are you ready to try Milk Paint?  Or do you think it’s just a silly trend?

 

 

 

 

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