There are times in my life where common sense does not prevail. It’s in-explainable. In retrospect I’m always like, “Kenz. You didn’t think that through. How could using a car GPS in a plane ever be a good idea? How could a bag of ice be used as an anchor?” This weekend, I had another “moment.”
It began with my desire to put up the Christmas tree. However, this is not a tale of decking-the-halls. “Before I put up the decorations, I should really paint the mantle. The stockings would look so jolly on a fresh piece of mantle.” (If you give a Kenz a cookie…)
Aaron was out running errands. I was the only one in Green Meadow Manor. I had no one to check my idea with. My plan seemed resourceful enough… to me.
I cleaned out the insert to the best of my ability, using paper towels and the vacuum. Then I taped off the tile.
I would be using Rustoleum’s High Heat Ultra on the insert.
I decided to make a garbage-bag tent to protect the rest of the room from over-spray. It was like a giant bubble. I climbed in, and sat down, and taped myself in. (There was no one to stop me. No one to say, “Kenz, are you sure you want to climb into the fume-chamber of death-to-brain-cells“)
I went to town spraying. And I had an excellent time. Did I use a mask? No. It didn’t even cross my mind. (Again, bad judgement.) That peyote chamber was a triiiiiiiiiip. The rest of the day is a foggy haze. The rest of this story is recanted to me by other members of the Green Meadow Manor household. They all started showing up when I was half-way through my spraying frenzy. When asked how I felt, I replied in a giggle fit saying “CURVED!” … Curved?
According to Aaron and Karl, I was all giggles for the rest of the night. Sources say that I looked like a coal miner. I kept saying “No! It’s a nice tan!” Here’s what I thought I looked like. (I honestly thought that was a “nice” tan…. looking through the eyes of spray-paint goggles.)
My favorite ‘under the spray paint influence’ self portrait. Those eyes… haha! And the black nostrils + 5 o’clock spray-paint shadow.
Again, I do not remember taking these pictures. At all. I also do not remember being adamant about not washing my face before getting gyros for dinner. Yes… I went out in public like this. And according to Aaron and Karl, I had a great & giggly time.
The next morning, my lungs killed. It literally felt like I had the black lung. (And I probably did, considering the spray paint was black, and I breathed in about 2 cans worth.) “I’ve got the black lung pa. *cough*cough*” I had a residual headache for days.
Let this be a lesson to all. Enclosing yourself in a non-ventilated bubble to spray paint, without wearing a mask is nothing short of idiotic.
And because everybody loves a good montage… (montage music/my theme song of the weekend)
But we carried on with the fireplace makeover, when I returned to my senses. We primed, then sanded with 400 grit sandpaper. Then we proceeded with painting is Snowbound White by Sherwin-Williams. Between each coat, we sanded with 400 grit. It removes brush marks and gives it a smoother more professional finish. Don’t skip this step.
This was all we were planning on doing. Just paint. But after painting, the tile stuck out in the most ugly way. It looks like dirty nonsense. This time, a much better idea struck us: Bead board! So in no time at all, we cut bead board to fit, and adhered it with liquid nails. That stuff sticks like the Bubonic Plague to the 1300’s.
We have a little trim to put around it, but you have to admit it looks 1810 times better than the dirty tile.
Candles were lit, and magic moments were had.
It completely transforms the room. It looks 10 years younger… but not the “Botox 10 years younger” look. Just the regular kind. We already had the primer, paint and bead board. The only thing we bought was the spray paint. So the total cost of this makeover was $10 and several brain cells. We still need to put some trim around the bead board.
What “personal sacrifices” have you made for the good of a project?
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